The boys moved in on Thursday night. D was in class and the evening was hectic but pretty manageable. The rest of the weekend went pretty well considering they met lots and lots of new people.
Meeting new people usually sends them both into a nervous frenzy. They get loud and chaotic. It usually only lasts a few minutes. And then they return to their “regular” level of noisiness.
We implemented the three rules from Theraplay and they can already repeat them. We have to explain them quite a bit but it is pretty cute to hear A say, “No hwurts, stick-agether & have fun.”
We have had some great moments…
- “Mommy, you’re pute.” – A (that’s “cute”).
- After pointing out how nice is was for their past foster mom to throw them a party , D2 said, “It was nice of your to take care of me, Mommy.” He wasn’t feeling well during the party and we got to do a decent amount of cuddling.
- D2 sweetly sharing with our niece, Ellie, when they came to visit.
- Neither of them wanting to play in the McDonald’s PlayLand because it was “a wittle cary” (scary).
- Teaching them to pray. D2 always prays for his cars while A gets a bit more creative, “Dear God. BOOKS!”
They are pretty sweet at times, generous with hugs and have embraced our dinner prayer song to the point we often hear them singing it when they are playing. On Friday night, we all sat down to watch a VeggieTale Christmas movie, each with out own little bowl of popcorn and it was just awesome.
But we’ve also had some rough moments…
- I left to go shopping and D was in charge of nap/rest time. A decided he didn’t really want to cooperate and there was a bit of a struggle to get him to comply. He finally did but he woke up pretty mad at D, which is tough for someone who is used to being the “good guy.” He was refusing to even look at him at first but he seemed to forget that he was mad after about ten minutes.
- D was at work last night and the social worker came over to fill out some paperwork. The boys had been calming down but having her show up, just a bit before bedtime, seemed to set them off. They could not calm back down for bedtime. I tried the best I could to reason with them – as much as you can with a three & four year old – but the end result was bedtime with no story. And, therefore, them both in bed sobbing. Not exactly how I want to end my night with them.
Sending kids to bed crying is not fun. I immediately questioned if I made the right decision or if I should have been more patient with them. After I heard them calm down, I went in and asked them if they knew why I took story-time away. They both understood that it was because they were not listening. We decided we would all have a better day tomorrow and they fell asleep soon after.
It is a fine balance between wanting to be sensitive to what they have been through and also wanting them to understand what is not acceptable behavior. Certain things we are willing to go easy on (like not making them eat certain foods since we are still getting to know their likes and dislikes). Overall, I think they are doing really well considering all the transitions going on (and all the ones they have been through before us). It is fun to get to know their little personalities and quirks each day.