Saturday Seven

1. I do have my first memory verse done. I made a little song for it and was able to memorize it quite easily. Here is my next one:

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called Children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. (1 John 3:1, ESV)

2. Both D and I related to this article from Paul Tripp this week. I keep feeling the need to re-read it.

The task is way bigger than our ability us as parents, but we are not our children’s messiah, and we are not left to the resources of our own character, wisdom, and strength.

3. The main reason why I need to be reminded of this article often is because we have some boundary pushing going on here. I’m not sure if it is just that the boys are more comfortable or what exactly is going on. My guess is they are acting their age. The most recent frustration is that simple instructions (like “Put on your coat”) are being met with “Why?” or “No.” (both said with a hint of attitude) or just a flat our refusal to follow instructions. As you can imagine, this is getting pretty exhausting and I spend a lot of time feeling like the bad guy. I keep talking to them about respect but I’m not sure I’m explaining it well. Any thoughts? Really, I’m open to suggestions.

4. And as much work as they are, they are just ever so cute and fun…

What could be more fun than a laundry basket & a blanket? Well, let me tell you. Having your mom and dad either carry or push you around in a laundry basket is pure delight. There are literally hundreds of toys in this house. This activity occupied them for about forty-five minutes. And I’m counting it as a workout.

5. Remember my whole goal of one-new-recipe a week. Well, this week I marinated chicken is something I had not used before. And that is going to have to count. I do have a roast planned for this week that I have not tried before though.

6. We are waiting on pins and needles for Baby Slagel to arrive. I realize that I didn’t share any of the photos here from the shower we threw for him and his momma back in November (it was the same day we met the boys for the first time). Here are just a few…

7. In talking with Marcia about the diaper bag she picked up for her little man, I told her I needed a bigger bag to tote around matchbox cars, hand sanitizer, quick activities and a plethora of snacks. Here are a few from Etsy that might just work…

(found here, here & here)

9 thoughts on “Saturday Seven

  1. I love those bags!! Sooo cute…

    As for the respect thing and having to ask them to do things more than once…I’m constantly in that struggle with our 4 year old, M. It’s the worst when she pretends she can’t speak English. Augh! I think with us, the struggle is the fact that she’s never had structure or stability, and she doesn’t respond well to it. She will like anyone that plays with her, but the minute they ask her to do something she moves on to the next person. Since I’m with her all day long, I’m always the “bad guy.” We make it a point to have my husband be in charge at night, so I’m not always the only one asking her to do stuff. Other than that…I got nothing. I’m interested in hearing other peoples thoughts on this…because it drives me insane!!

    In other news, I LOVE the pics of your little ones and am so in love with the journey you guys are on!

    • One thing we learned in therapy for our 3 year old was the ‘repeat’ command. I don’t know the official name, but essentially we just repeat the command (Name…please go do this.) with NO other conversation involved about every 5-10 seconds. We don’t say ‘we want you to’ or use other bribes or threats. Just the simple command. Over and over and over, ignoring all behavior and conversation from him to the contrary, until he complies. When he first came and in times of high trauma-behavior, it can take 20 minutes or so, but it was really, really effective. The time went down and down until we had immediate compliance on nearly everything.

      The therapist’s advice is that if we establish this command and compliance routine, even if it takes a long time, that eventually compliance will be immediate because he will know that eventually I will win, every time. Of course, we only can use this technique if there’s time. Sometimes we’re on a tight schedule and we have to say, ‘either you will do this or we will help you, which would you prefer?’ Sometimes, it’s a danger situation and we can’t wait for compliance. But mostly, it’s just establishing authority. Calmly, without emotional engagement. (All of this said, this was REALLY difficult for us to do because it doesn’t actually feel like you’re establishing authority when your child is ignoring you for 20 minutes. but it works, I swear)

  2. We have the “Why” issue, but it doesn’t have the attitude attached. Even so, I’ve put a stop to him asking me why after I issue a command. Eli is super easy so it only took a few times for him to get the picture. For example I’d tell him it’s time to put his jacket on. He asks Why and I simply say “Go”. I’m calm and he’s learned that a command is to be followed.

    We have a zero tolerance policy on disrespect in our home. If I even sense disrespect I send Eli to his room for a 5 minute (sometimes longer) time out. Once the time out is over, I go in his room explain how he was disrespectful, remind him God told him to honor his mom and dad. What he did was sin. He apologizes, asks for forgiveness and we hug in reconciliation. It’s important to have him ask for forgiveness. That will lead him to understand about repentance and give him a model for the future.

    And then I try to do something active with him. Boys need to expend lots of energy!

    I know things are very different with your boys, but this has worked for us. Eli is not a strong willed child, so he makes my life really easy.

  3. i love the love and logic approach to the jacket (now we are from florida so jackets aren’t as much of an issue – but shoes are)

    “would you like to wear your (jacket/shoes) or carry them?” it has happened several times where he opts to carry them but quickly realizes his error. if it is a short walk to the car – he gets to keep walking and dealing w/ the natural consequence of being cold or having his feet uncomfy. — but we def get attitude on stuff – and we are working on that

    the “what the heck” (not edited) has started – don’t think so! erg!

  4. Congratulations on a step towards permanency at your house. As for obedience, with our boys we would ask them to do something (put on your coat or bring me that dishrag or pick up that apple core and put it in the trash) and when they didn’t comply, we would repeat the command while physically helping them do it, then praise them like crazy for obeying. For example, “Put on your coat.” nothing happens or they ask why or say no. Then, “Put on your coat please,” as we take their arms and body and make them put their coat on. Then, “Wow! What a big boy you are! You can put on your coat when we ask you to! You are such a good obeyer! Maybe next time you can even obey without my help! It’s so great when little boys obey their parents like you do! You’re such a precious boy to me!” I know it seems like you’re praising them for disobeying, but really, you’re forcing them to learn the joy of obeying which is probably something they haven’t learned before. And to me, you want to get them obeying now before they’re too big to make them obey.

  5. I am loving that you are memorizing! I need to do more of that, I’m sure there’s more than I think rumbling around in there, but something to challenge me would be good.

    Marcia’s shower was simply adorable! I love the color pallet and decorations!

    And I vote (and yes, I realize it’s not actually a vote) but I LOVE the two on the right! The style of the bag and the fabric, very cute!

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