This morning we opened prayer time at work listening to Blessed Be Your Name.
You give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed be your name.
And, I’ll admit, I was fighting back the tears.
I listen to Pandora almost all day long and heard “Make Your Feel My Love”…twice.
I’d go hungry, I’d go black and blue
I’d go crawling down the avenue
There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
To make you feel my love
I think it was written as a love song but, for me, its about our kiddos (all three of the ones we have cared for and the ones yet to come).
And then I saw this on the Livesay’s blog:
Hope and despair are not opposites. They are cut from the very same cloth, made from the very same material, shaped from the very same circumstances. Most of all, every life finds itself forced to choose one from the other, one day at a time, one circumstance after another. The only difference between the two is that despair shapes an attitude of mind; hope creates a quality of soul. Despair colors the way we look at things, makes us suspicious of the future, makes us negative about the present. Hope, on the other hand, takes life on its own terms, knows that whatever happens God lives in it, and expects that, whatever its twists and turns, it will ultimately yield its good to those who live it well. When tragedy strikes, when trouble comes, when life disappoints us, we stand at the crossroads between hope and despair, torn and hurting. Despair cements us in the present; hope sends us dancing around dark corners trusting in a tomorrow we cannot see. Despair says that there is no place to go but here. Hope says that God is waiting for us someplace else. Begin again. (unknown author)
If it seems like we are doing well with our situation, it is because we have hope. It does not mean we are not sad. Sometimes I think some extra cuddles with T are a much better use of my time than making it to work by 9:00 am. I felt kind of bummed out when I realized I would not be dressing M in the new cute outfits I got her for the fall. Moments with them are bittersweet.
But we are daily choosing to be hopeful and optimistic. I could spend every day thinking about M & T leaving and worrying about their future but that is not fair to them or anyone else. Hope is a better option for us, for our families, for the kids and for their birth mother.
I love hope. I love that my God is the provider of hope. It is certainly the lesson that is being woven through this first year of foster parenting. As someone who is usually full of cynicism and doubts about people’s sincerity, hope is a welcome addition in my life.
I guess this would be the answer to the question, “How are you handling this?” We have hope. And, if you are a believer in Christ, it is yours for the taking.